Archive for November, 2007

Esther

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

At Mortons

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Esther performing the great disappearing act

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Damn Coffee Beans

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

Must be the dark chocs loaded with coffee beans I ate after today’s team meeting. I am WIDE AWAKE now at two am. I am so gonna die tomorrow morning (the story of my life every morning) and I am dreading stairs….Stairs are the most dreadful….

Not only do you look really unglam, you actually look ludricrous with the big bag and the ankle weights while dripping buckets onto the lift floor while pretending to be so into the music from your ipod shuffle that you’re not bothered when the other occupants in the lifts are wondering if you’re half crazy.

Was looking at old pics… Saw this pre Cho Oyu shot which looked vaguely humane…

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A long winded summary of two days

Monday, November 26th, 2007

I haven’t been updating my blog as often…….Did you think its because I’ve got too busy a social life to sit in front of the comp and type out my thoughts and stuff? Nah quite the contrary… I’ve been busy no doubt but I have also been lazy…

Let’s see….I woke up on sunday at twelve even though I slept at ten on sat. (and I can hear you go ‘HUH??? ten on a sat night???? ‘) So anyway I got terrible stomach ache and I mistakenly ate anarex instead of panadol and thus had to cancel on dinner with Kai and come home and writh in agony….and yeah that was also another failed opportunity to eat the ‘damm good foood and at damm good price’ botak Jones. I have not eaten there YET!!! despite all the hype and adverts and tv features…

Yeah so sunday…I woke up and then I realised that the marathon is in a week’s time (thanks to weibin who messaged me to ask who i’m running with and then refuse to run with me!!!)
I started to freak out since the longest run I did was on monday at ECP about 16-18km??? (oh and I met aloysius on the run…most coincidental since its been years since I last met him….we actually went on a north to south backpacking trip in vietnam when I was in uni year 2.)
Yeah so I decided to go gym and runfor hour and half and spin for another hour. IN the end I only did an hour and like ten min run and spining. Spinning was a surprise though since this is the first time i’m going to adeline’s class…annd she is actually pretty good at getting the class hyped up…and It feels kinda good when everyone’s going yeah woo hoo ra ra kind of thing. So that was a good spin though I was a wee bit tired so I din really push all that hard at all the intervals….But I sure pedaled when we were doing the breakaway….so Adeline…you go gal….and she was nice enough to buy 2 copies of the calender at my office that day….YAY!!! and she still said she would buy another from esther…..
Annd after that very fruitful gym workout, I got a stussy steal…singlet at 70% off….woo hoo…

and I actually allowed myself to be ripped by spinelli…six buxks for their smoothie…I din remember it being so ex in the past…and I sure know what goes into the smoothie since I worked there before…..hrumph….six bucks…
And I have also succumbed to the donut hype….I am ashamed to say…I went to donut factory and bought like 12 donuts…and I finished 3 on the walk home and 2 at home..so in all I ate 5 donuts as my post workout nourishment….and I wonder why I am putting on weight….hur hur hur…

Although I maintain that krispy kreme donuts are still TO DIE FOR!!!

I hhave a donut test…it’s the sugar glazed donut that you have to try to decide whether the donuts are worth your while….Krispy kreme totally melts in your mouth…I still remember eating it in london at harrods….eating it in sydney during my zhuo boh free trip from sia….It’s so heavenly and chewy and yet its not that heavy…So anyway donut test, donut factory is nnot bad, muchy is BAD. but surprisingly, the assorted ones at munchy is actually better than the donut factory.
Well tim hortons has pretty good boston creme…they are utterly sinful…I remember my first was in….ok I don’t remember which town but it was while me howard and mary were doing the buus across canada thing and it was in this small town….shucks I cannot remember liao…anyway boston creme…they are chocolate coated and they have like damn rich creme or custurd filling and everything just oozes out when you bite into it…I remember it being really good….but in retrospect, custurd doesn’t sound too enticing.

And the best part of sunday was that I finally finished Jane’s book – nice work…and she’s right. I do like it. It’s not one of those books which just tells a story. This one uses a story to illustrate other ideas, politics, criticisms and even have a literary discussion. and it is realistic…academics really do have no knowledge of the industrial world and hence they may be more idealistic than practical or realistic. They may not be governed by mere capital gains. But you cannot discount either since both are important. and we do need ideals and we need culture and we also need to be realistic….the book also discusses different hierachy systems in the academic world and the coporate world which I find interesting. Talks about left wing ideals, about feminist theories etc..in fact, writing these down, I suddenly realise what a huge effort the book has been, trying to incorporate all the theories and ideals and examples so seamlessly into the novel which not only makes it an interesting read but one which makes you think back and marvel…. I especially like the silk cut cigarettes example of how a very simple advertisement can be prejudiced against women….

and gosh..I am freakin long winded…and that was just about ONE day. I haven;t even gotten on to the highlight of TODAY.

Today:
Thanks to seeling and her last min invitation to a MBA session by University of Michigan, I decided at seven that I will go with her to the american club for the session. It was a real eye opener. ok..not that big an eye opener but it got me thinking…talking to the professors there, looking at the school curriculum and program, I think getting into business school is going to be my next short term goal after everest. Maybe I can study for gmath during everest. how cool is that. doing math in hypoxic conditions, I wonder if it;ll train my brain to function better at sea levels….
My only limiting factor is money. same with everest. it’s always money huh…. Sure I can take a loan for business school… but its like easily 200k. I will be bonded forever…and I am not good with commitments. I don’t like the idea of being commited to something. Even if I earn 100k per annum, it’ll still take three four years to repay my debts.
But it does sound like an exciting time. if it really delivers what it promises. If the interaction with the students and profs are really so stimulating. But gosh, I will live my student life to the fullest if I really do get into biz school… get involved in the student groups, pioneer some student club etc etc…

The last highlight – Gary is back from london!!!(again) and he and hweeling are coming to the marmot festival on 15th Dec… 6 days after my birthday!!!! heh….So unexpected but so cool…it’ll be fun. That made me think that maybe I shall go and invite Nam and maybe even Xavier…

and man are the strawberries sweet today….

Freedom

Saturday, November 24th, 2007

Freedom does not come easy.

A life rooted in the past will not bring forth any change to the present outcome.

I need to move forward, to live in the now and to look to the future.

loh-mance…

Friday, November 23rd, 2007

One of the best things i love about working in RP, is the fact that my office is at the Sports Complex, i.e. having an olympic-sized pool at my doorstep! I went for a lunch-time swim with some colleagues (another bonus: colleagues for company!) since the day was too beautiful to not be in the pool. Finished a 50-lap swim and I feel GREAT!

Swimming has got to be the most boring sport in my books, but I’m addicted to the after effect of feeling really taut and toned after a long swim (even though it only lasts until after the next meal). After a long run, i just feel like jello and after a stairs session, the only thing I feel is this overall soreness and bloatiness which I attribute to having a hip belt pressing down and ankle weights weighing down on me.

Perhaps if I invested in a nifty underwater mp3 player (it really exists by the way), long swims will be less tedious.

xxxxx

For the first time in two weeks, I had some spare time for myself last night. In between the conclusion of one meeting over beer at the Penny Black and waiting for Kyo to meet me for dinner, I had half an hour to myself during which I didn’t have to rush off to meet someone, do something, be some place or get somewhere. What a luxury.

I took a nice stroll down from Boat Quay to the Esplanade and at the park area near the waterfront, there was this couple that was walking towards me and all of a sudden, the guy just stopped and pulled the girl down in a totally exaggerated Hollywood-style kiss that can only happen in the movies.

If the couple caught up in the acrobatic liplock had bothered to surface for air, they would have seen me walking past with a quizzical frown. Don’t get me wrong though, I wasn’t furrowing my brows from the perspective of a prude, cuz god knows what I’m guilty of, but it’s the fact that such acts of spontaneous romance can still exist.

I think I have unconsciously become a romance-cynic.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the nice things like a lift home after a long day at work or a sandwich waiting for me after training, but it’s the entire stable of that romantic spiel of flowers, candy, hallmark cards, hot air balloon proposals and related “grand gestures” that just inspire a raised eyebrow.

Just what is the deal with “romance” anyway? We’re sold bucket-loads of it every year during Valentine’s Day. And from all that lovey dovey blitz that I’ve been bombarded with over the years, I am supposed to feel as unloved, unwanted and undesirable as a three-legged cat with a flea infestation and one eye, if I am not wined, dined, given hallmark-approved “surprises” and the like.

Anyone with enough time on his hands to execute some (pretty standard) planning can be romantic. A large part of the romantic appeal is that “Oh! I didn’t expect this!” factor that comes from being spontaneously surprised, but isn’t romance just a small word for one big premediated effort? If you ask me, lust can be spontaneous, love is nurtured and romance is well, just premediated.

I think life is too short to be wasted beating around the bush. Which is essentially what romance is all about isn’t it? Showing love and appreciation with the help of flowers, cards, bears, limos, dancing gorillas, gondola rides and sky-writing.

By my standards, true love only comes in one form and it doesn’t involve surprising grand gestures: when your boyfriend doesn’t make the choice between beloved PSP or girlfriend time and instead, gives you the PSP to amuse yourself on the commute to work. =)

smitten

Friday, November 16th, 2007

I think these Smith glasses are damn chio on ME!!! Can’t wait to get my hands on a pair…

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such forgetful beings we are

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

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as i pack for my short trip to Annapurna Base Camp (which really translates to one big mess in my room), i can’t help but miss the mountains and the outdoors, sorting through my gear and clothings.

what is it about the mountains that keeps us going back, even when thoughts like ‘this really sucks, why am i even doing this’ enter our minds so often when we’re climbing.

maybe lihui is right, mountaineers are such forgetful beings. perhaps if we could only be as forgetful in other aspects of our lives, living might be a tad easier…

a jar full of thoughts

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

“I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love’s not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time.”

— 1950-07-07
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

vertical marathon 2007

Friday, November 9th, 2007

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participating in the vertical marathon this sunday will be a first for me, i’m sure it’ll be an great experience, especially when i’m running up all 73 flights with tonsillitis…

Regrets

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

–verb (used with object)

1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.).

2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one’s vanished youth.

–noun

3. a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

4. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
How does one live a life without regrets?

My life seems to be full of them.

Regret for wavering in my decision…regret for uttering a harsh word…regret for jumping to conclusions too early…regret for not spending the time to build bonds and relationships…regret for making the wrong judgment call.

Especially when one is in a position to make or break another’s livelihood. Mistakes made were more costly than others.

Caught in a dilemma between living out my ideals and doing what was pragmatic..it had been a tough call. To reward based on performance or potential, what is the tipping point to decide who is the more deserving person?

A trusted friend and a mentor who guides and advises me, he is the best person that I have worked with. Ever supportive, going beyond the call of duty to lend a helping hand. Always a problem solver who took upon himself to see things through.

Not that he is incapable, in fact, he has the capacity to deliver more than most people. Not that he did not do his job, he puts in his best for every task that he is given and he delivers.

Yet, setting aside all emotions, I made a conscious decision to set the criteria based on the amount of workload done for the year. So, I had placed him lower than what others would usually do when solely judged by potential and capability.

Turn of events indicated that it was a wrong judgment call and I had let my most trusted right-hand man down.

Apart from disappointing him, I know that I had discredited myself.

Even if he can forgive me, I will not be able to forgive myself.




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